Unemployment

Ahhhh, hello adulthood. I was laid off from employment for the first time in my life, this past Friday. It was thanks to that bastard Madoff and of course the timing couldn't be worse. I love that it's just before the holidays and of course I lost my first coveted hedge fund bonus, not to mention he stole last year's bonus since I was forced to put it back into the fund. However, I can't help but be thankful to be off for the holidays.

Since I knew it was coming, there wasn't as many hard feelings as I think some of my former co-workers were experiencing. That is until Saturday morning arrived. This is when I promptly began freaking out about not having income coming in and realizing that all my plans for the next few months were ruined. I was also thinking that everything seemed to be going wrong in my life lately and that this was just the icing on the cake.

Sunday morning, I woke up got a hold of myself and realized how ridiculous I was being. My mind began to race on all the options I had without a dumb job holding me back. I celebrated by laying in bed for an extra thirty minutes listening to my neighbors get up and start their morning rituals.

First , I have to mention that the walls in my apartment building are paper thin. Upstairs is a couple and the guy apparently has big feet that weigh like 30lbs each. The poor guy must hate the fact that its so hard to put his feet down slowly since they are so heavy. This guy loves to sing to himself though as he's getting dressed. This makes his overgrown feet noises less loud as I find it quite charming. However, when I hear them laughing and giggling in bed together all happy like, it does make me want to throw shoes at the ceiling.

Next Door, is like a 6ft single guy who travels a lot. I always know he's away by the packages piling up at his door everyday. He must have some online shopping addiction as the packages are ALWAYS piling up (even when its not Christmas). I always know when he's home because he likes to slam his front door to announce his arrival and his bed is just on the other side of mine and I think he likes to bring women home as souvenirs at 2 am.

Sunday morning, as I layed in bed, I heard the birds going bonkers outside the window next to my bed (don't they fly south in the winter? wtf), Upstairs' alarm clock going off and the buzzing blackberry on the floor, and Next Door rolling over in his bed. Yes I know when he's rolling over in bed. As I realized my major freak out was over and that I needed to figure out what to do with all my new-found free-time, I promptly made a cup of tea and crawled back into bed. I was fortunate to be able to read uninterrupted for about 4 hours. WHOA. Four hours. I got halfway through Eat Pray Love. Amazing way to start the day.

Then the real shit started to happen in my head. Ideas began flooding my little pea brain until I couldn't take it anymore. Ideas for photo projects, ideas about selling all my belongings, ideas about how to better see the city during the day, ideas about how to incorporate more music and art into my life, ideas about embracing the alone time that I've desperately needed to incorporate into my life. How I could become a better person, live a less cluttered life, and remember what's important.

Then it came to me. I've been toying with moving to California for the past three years. This past year it became more of a possibilty since my closest family wants to move there as well. Typically, I would be the one to stay behind and be reliable while someone else went into the unknown and got setup. However, this time, it seems that life is giving me an opportunity to be the forward person. Its a scary prospect given what I know about myself, but maybe I don't really know myself anymore. So I've decided to do it. I haven't figured out all the logistics yet, but I have made the decision and I feel good about it so far. Everyone I've bounced this idea off of seems to agree with me.

Crap, I'm scared.